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Photo courtesy of Callie Sisk.
Steve Carmichael, right, was 44 when he took his life, leaving behind a wife and three kids.
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Photo courtesy of Callie Sisk.
Lee and Callie Sisk recently relocated from Nebraska to Hoover with their son, Jack.
Callie Sisk grew up in what she considers a normal family, the middle child of three with two working parents. But her life was completely changed on May 13, 2007, when her father decided not to accompany the family to church.
Instead, Steve Carmichael took his own life at the age of 44.
Sisk, a Hoover resident and a native of Enterprise, was a freshman in high school at the time.
“Enterprise had just experienced an EF4 tornado. It hit our high school, killing eight students, and emotionally that was a lot,” she said. “So March 1 the tornado happened, and then two months later my dad took his own life. For a 14-year-old, almost 15-year-old girl, that's a lot of emotion and a lot of confusing things to happen.”
Confusion is not unusual for suicide loss survivors, as many people struggle to comprehend the actions of their loved ones. That’s why so many individuals and organizations work to raise awareness, and September is designated as National Suicide Prevention Month to help bring attention to the topic.
Sisk says her parents had shielded her and her siblings from the negativity of addiction and depression from which her father suffered, so his manner of death was difficult to comprehend.
“At 14 years old, being told dad’s not coming home, your mind isn’t mature enough to navigate what this truly means, and there’s so much confusion,” she said. “Also the feeling of embarrassment, of ‘What are people gonna think about us?’ And in reality, that’s not important and I really shouldn't care if anybody thought any different of us, but at the same time, there’s the hurt and the sorrow that goes along with losing somebody, but also of ‘What could I have done?’”
After her father’s death, Sisk felt as if she was walking in a fog, which she now recognizes as shock and grief.
“People were shocked, because he was the happy one,” she said. “He was someone that everyone enjoyed to be around. He would give you the shirt off his back, so it was something that surprised most. Because also a lot of people never even knew that he struggled with depression.”
Sisk struggled to make sense of what had happened, even questioning her faith and wondering why God would let such a thing happen. Now, after years of therapy and rebuilding her relationship with God in college, she works to bring suicide prevention resources to churches.
Research shows that those who seek treatment and learn coping mechanisms are less likely to think about or die by suicide.
In continuing her advocacy work, Sisk has become the newest board member of the Alabama chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, encouraging people to educate themselves on suicide prevention.
“Knowledge is power, and the more we know, the more we can help somebody,” she said. “What if somebody just takes the three-hour training from AFSP and is able to identify one person? That’s a whole person's life that can be saved and changed for the better.”
While Sisk is at a point now where she can speak about her father’s death and share his story in hopes of preventing others from experiencing what she went through, she said milestone moments can be hard. Knowing that he missed things like graduations, her wedding and the birth of her son, Jack, doesn’t get easier, but she has done her best to make something positive out of the situation.
“You can turn a bad situation into something good,” she said. “For me, that’s not letting his death be what people remember about him, but the way that he lived and the way that he loved.”
Photo courtesy of Callie Sisk
Callie had a keychain made to commemorate her father at her wedding.
What you need to know about suicide
One person dies by suicide every 11 minutes in the United States, according to post-COVID-19 data from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
The CDC’s most recent Fatal Injury Report found that over 49,000 people died by suicide in 2022, and the World Health Organization reported that the pandemic triggered a 25% increase in the prevalence of anxiety and depression worldwide.
With these issues becoming more prevalent, the conversation around them has also increased, chipping away at the stigmas surrounding mental illness and suicide.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness and the CDC both report that one in five U.S. adults experience a mental illness each year, and one in six U.S. youth ages 6 to 17 experience a mental health disorder each year.
Suicide is the third leading cause of death for people ages 10-24 in the state of Alabama. Based on the most current verified CDC data from 2021, it is the 13th leading cause of death overall. Of recorded deaths, 75% of suicides were by firearms, and 47% of firearm deaths were suicides.
In 2023, 75% of Alabama communities did not have enough mental health providers to serve residents, according to federal guidelines.
Alice Churnock, the founder of BrainCore Birmingham and a licensed professional counselor who is certified in Neurofeedback, notes that mental health issues, and specifically suicide, have such a large impact on youth populations due to brain development.
Churnock said that the human brain is formed from the back to the front, and the prefrontal cortex (which is responsible for logic, decision making and impulse control, among other things) does not fully develop until around age 25. Prior to that development, the amygdala limbic system, or the emotional center of the brain, is responsible for all decision making.
“When you’re an adolescent, we know that you have about a 15-second timeline in making a decision,” she said. “All the decision, all the future planning is done within that 15 seconds, so naturally, you can see how that impulsivity a lot of times is what happens with an adolescent.”
While research shows that brain development is important in understanding youth suicides, Churnock emphasizes that all people are unique and develop differently. Some younger people may be more logical or possess a calmer, less emotional response to stressors, and being 25 or older does not guarantee an absence of impulsive choices.
Recognizing individuality is essential in addressing mental health issues and preventing suicide, experts say. While people often are told to look for common warning signs such as increased isolation, mood swings, substance abuse, giving away belongings and changes in sleeping habits, both Churnock and Meesha Emmett, AFSP’s Alabama area director, stress that people can be struggling without exhibiting any of these signs.
“What we the public see as a potential cause that might lead someone to death by suicide is oftentimes not; it’s never the full picture,” Emmett said. “Research has shown that it’s a combination of environmental factors, biological factors and historical factors all converging at the same time to create that moment of despair.”
Churnock also emphasizes that there are wonderful parents and individuals who have lost children or loved ones to suicide, and the worst thing to do is blame those who are already dealing with the guilt.
“All we’ve grown up hearing is the phrase ‘committed suicide.’ The word ‘committed’ in and of itself, we usually use that word to describe things that are negative, like you commit crimes,” Emmett said. “It perpetuates a stigma and implies judgment, and that’s really dangerous, particularly with loss survivors. … We just don’t need to assign that kind of judgment to something as complex as suicide because we never know the full picture.”
On top of being aware of the way you speak about these topics, Emmett said the most important thing you can do is be kind, show up for people in your life and let them know you care and are ready to listen.
If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health or contemplating suicide, call the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or visit 988lifeline.org for help.
By the numbers
Suicide is the third leading cause of death for people aged 10-24 in the state of Alabama.
Based on the most current verified CDC data from 2021, it is the 13th leading cause of death overall in the state.
Of recorded deaths, 75% of suicides were by firearms, and 47% of firearm deaths were suicides.
In 2023, three-quarters of Alabama communities did not have enough mental health providers to serve residents, according to federal guidelines.
Suicide prevention resources
This list was provided by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Find the complete list at afsp.org/suicide-prevention-resources
- 24/7 Crisis Hotline: If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. Veterans, press one when calling.
- 24/7 Crisis Text Line: Text TALK to 741-741 to text with a trained crisis counselor from the Crisis Text Line for free. For more information, go to crisistextline.org.
- Veterans Crisis Line: Send a text to 838255 to access the hotline or go to veteranscrisisline.net for more information
- Vets4Warriors: Visit online at vets4warriors.com
- SAMHSA Treatment Referral Hotline (Substance Abuse): Call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) to access the hotline or go to samhsa.gov/find-help for more information
- RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: Call 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) to access the hotline or go to hotline.rainn.org for more information
- National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: Call 1-866-331-9474 to access the hotline or go to loveisrespect.org for more information
- The Trevor Project: Call 1-866-488-7386 to access the hotline or go to thetrevorproject.org for more information
This story is part of our September series for suicide prevention month. Read our stories on suicide rates among senior citizens, suicide rates among veterans and how local schools are addressing mental health issues for more information.
