Ditching the mommy guilt
Dr. Leesha Ellis-Cox always knew she wanted to work in medicine. She initially wanted to be a pediatrician because she loved kids. But it was during a child psychology rotation during medical school at The University of North Carolina at Chapel
Hill that she decided that was the path she would take.
“I continued with my path in psychiatry,” Ellis-Cox said. “What I’m focusing on now as my Dr. Leesha brand is beyond psychiatry. I’m a Christian and my faith is super important to me and I felt like God had more for me to do, but I didn’t know what that would look like.”
A board-certified child, adolescent and adult psychiatrist, Ellis-Cox not only works with children, but also shares a message of love, hope and acceptance for moms. She works with them to change their mindset and help them live a more balanced life.
In her first book, “Ditch the Mommy Guilt: A Blueprint for the Modern Mommy,” Ellis-Cox dispels the myth of the “perfect parent” and guides the path to becoming an effective and happy mom.
She has experience in this firsthand, being married 17 years and having three kids ages 13, 10 and 6. Her first pregnancy was complicated, and she was on bedrest for 14 weeks. After her daughter was born at 37 weeks, she said it felt like having “Disney expectations but not the Disney experience.”
“I was like, how can I not get this together?” she said. “I was trying to juggle motherhood, marriage and life.”
She recalls missing a Mother’s Day tea at her daughter’s preschool and when her daughter asked her why she wasn’t there, Ellis-Cox was devastated.
“As moms, we feel so much guilt,” she said. “I started having more parent conversations and lots of moms have guilt about all kinds of things. Overdoing it for our kids can lead us to have anxiety and depression and unhealthy habits. I knew I wasn’t alone, that I wasn’t the only one struggling. That became something I was passionate about.”
Ellis-Cox said moms have to reclaim their identity that exists outside of motherhood. She knows they can’t pour from an empty cup.
“Empowering moms means by putting me first, I’m putting my kids first,” she said. “That’s why I wrote the book to flesh out what that really looks like. It’s a daily practice. It may mean saying no to things, having a prayer life or meditation journal and healthy boundaries to let people know how they can and can’t treat you.”
Ellis-Cox works in several different arenas. In addition to her private practice, she spends time working at community health centers to make sure those clients also receive great care. She does guest blogging (including local blog Birmingham Mom Collective) and has been a guest on a variety of podcasts. She has also served on several panels sharing her advice and insights. She held her first Motherhood: The Remix conference in 2019 and hopes to have another in the future.
“I also blog on my own Dr. Leesha page and write about faith, mental health, motherhood, parenting and about social justice issues as well,” she said. “Writing for me is a labor of love.”
Ellis-Cox said her favorite thing is connecting with moms.
“Whether through therapy or coaching, to see a mom get it and say, ‘You know what? You are absolutely right about me making time for myself,” she said. “When a mom can do that and she has that aha moment and I see a shift, that is such a gift for me.”
For more information, visit drleesha.com.