Photo courtesy of Kari Kampakis.
Author Kari Kampakis and her daughters pose with her latest book, “Love Her Well,” which will be released Aug. 18 but can be preordered on Amazon and other online retailers.
Kari Kampakis is a mom of four daughters from ages 10 to 17. The author, blogger and speaker has written two previous books for teenage girls and her third book, “Love Her Well,” which releases next month, is geared toward moms of teenage girls.
Kampakis began writing articles for two community newspapers in 2010. In March 2013, she launched a blog. Four months later, a post titled “10 Truths Young Girls Should Know” went viral.
That post caught the attention of Thomas Nelson, a Christian publishing company, who contacted Kampakis and said the company was interested in turning that post into a book, which was released in 2014. Two years later, her second book, “Liked: Whose Approval Are You Living For?” was published.
While doing promotional book and speaking events, Kampakis began connecting with fellow mothers. Many of them asked when she was going to write a book for them. Although she had a heart for teenage girls, Kampakis said she didn’t feel equipped to write a parenting book.
But as her own daughters grew up, Kampakis soon realized there weren’t many books available for parenting teenage girls. It was then she decided that she would write one.
“When they’re babies, people tell you to just wait until they are teenagers,” she said. “It made me dread them growing up. But those stereotypes are not helpful and not true.”
Kampakis said it made her think about the message to parents. Even with her share of bad days, she said she is enjoying this stage more than when they were little.
“I want them to finish strong in their final years at home — setting the stage for long-term adult relationships,” she said. “If we fight all the time and don’t resolve conflict, that leads to dysfunction in mother-daughter relationships as adults.”
Her latest book begins with a big “mom fail” that happened when her oldest daughter was 13. Kampakis said her daughter had the typical teenage attitude, but she herself was dealing with pride. Over a few months, the gulf between them started to grow wider.
“We had this fight, and she went to school and an hour later, I broke down crying in my closet,” Kampakis said. “That was my wake-up call. I knew that something had to change, and it had to be with me taking a deep, hard look at myself. That was a turning point for me.”
She said that was a testimony that God meets us where we are, and He can redeem and restore anything.
“This generation has it so hard,” she said. “There are so many more challenges than we faced at their age. They need strong adults in their corner to love them through their mistakes.”
Kampakis said she reiterates in the book that while parents have to enforce rules, they also have to have a relationship with their children. Parents also need to apologize when they are wrong.
That seventh-grader from her first book is now a senior in high school. Kampakis said she looks back and is thankful for the way their relationship has grown.
“It’s in the way we approach it,” she said. “Not taking things personally. If we want a stronger relationship, we have to make the first move.”
Kampakis says she loves her girls even more in this season of life as their personalities shine and their conversations deepen.
“Being their mom brings me the ultimate joy,” she said. “I feel completely undeserving... yet eternally grateful.”
Her purpose in writing these books is to empower girls through faith and to empower moms to help their daughters. In building relationships with each of her daughters, knowing their individual personalities helps her both correct them and connect with them.
“My hope is that people can read this book and pull ideas from it and that it helps moms come together in unity and find a starting point,” she said.
“Love Her Well” will be released Aug. 18. It can be preordered on Amazon and other online retailers. For more information, including speaking engagements and book signings, visit karikampakis.com or follow her on social media.
